Anti-Asian Hate Crimes Vigil in Phoenix, Arizona

By:  Milla Nguyen 
Disclaimer: So, getting into it, this is my own personal experience/writing and in no way representative of my entire community or it’s leaders/ organizers. This will be similar to a journal entry, a memorable recollection of the event and my thoughts associated with it. 

From my perspective, I’ve always felt thrust into things. Being young at this age, the world is always continuously progressing and changing around my generation. Sometimes, it changes for good and sometimes for the worst. Personally, it’s odd to be growing up and constantly maturing while also being confused about my own feelings regarding my cultural identity. Being the daughter of Vietnamese immigrants but being born in the United States, there’s this fine line I teeter between when mixing both dimensions. 

And honestly, I can’t lie about the remarks that I’ve gotten when I was younger. It’s like when your class does an icebreaker at the beginning of the year, and your middle school teacher asks you to state where you’re from and how you got to that point in your life. I would say that I was born in Mesa, Arizona and I’ve been raised here by my parents since they immigrated and worked up from ground zero. And then, a classmate turned to me and asked, “Do you even speak English at home?”. And through that conversation, my 12-year-old brain couldn’t understand why someone kept  trying to disprove that I knew how to speak English fluently. And I know someone might say that we were kids and we wouldn’t understand issues of stereotyping, racism, and etcetera. We were just too young.

But this brings me to my next experience during my freshman year of college. Depending on your major, you would be sorted into an assembly with that section of the university. In my group, we were asked to say our names, our majors, and our home state. For me, I said, “Hi, my name’s Milla Nguyen. I’m from Arizona (born and raised). I’m a fashion design and film/media major.” And then someone in the room spoke up. I remember they said, “That’s interesting. I’ve never really seen Asians in a field that wasn’t a medical or science one.” In this very moment, my throat went dry. It’s when I became hyper-aware that nobody in my group stated that they were ethnically Asian. All eyes were on me, peering through my response. We’re not young anymore. We’re in our 19s/20s now. And even still, my only answer was that “Design and art have always been a part of me. That’s just a stereotype.” So, where does that leave us?

Last week, 8 people were killed in Atlanta Georgia. Robert Aaron Long shot 8 people, among most of them Asian business owners, employees, or customers. Their names are Soon Chung Park, Hyun Jung Grant, Suncha Kim, Yong Ae Yue, Delaina Ashley Yaun, Paul Andre Michaels, Xiaojie Tan, and Daoyou Feng. Other victims of Anti-Asian hate crimes include Noel Quintana, Vichar Ratanapakdee, Ngoc Pham, Danny Yu Chang, Xiao Zhen Xie, and many more. Horrific attacks on the elderly have occurred in cities such as San Francisco, Manhattan, Atlanta, and more. Even in Phoenix, Arizona, Juanito Falcon was attacked on the streets and later passed away. 

Upon reading of these growing incidents of hate and the lives taken from the victims, my heart burns in rage. My tears are hot and my hands feel clammy. My grandmother, a 95-year-old Vietnamese woman who does not speak English walks around her park during sunset. It's a small habit, one that’s become an aspect of her daily routine. It’s that cold-sweated nightmare that I wake up from if the victims were my grandmother, my mother, and my family. Most of the victims who passed were mothers. They were grandparents to their children’s children. They had people who loved them just as much as we love our people. 

And just within two days, the AAPI central region caucus members were able to organize this event, mourning all victims of the anti-Asian hate crimes. For me, I was able to outreach for them to the Asian associations/coalitions and women's coalition at ASU. It was a whirlwind of advertising, reposting, and advocating for the event. And all I had to do was tell them I couldn’t bear to see these hate crimes anymore. I told them I wanted to do better. I told them about my experiences and my means of Culture Talk/ my project work. And, they listened. They welcomed me. All I had to do was ask. 

Fast forwarding to the event, I had taken my friend, Neon Dancho with me. We were a bit anxious, we didn’t know what to expect. After driving through the streets of Downtown Phoenix, I realized how long it’s been since I’ve driven down those roads. We had never been to such an event. Upon arriving, we were handed small white candles. Artists had come to spray paint on canvases, community members had come to wave their signs in the air, and people of ALL races had come together. Phoenix musicians performed mourning songs as people lit their candles in the night. A musician had begun to sing his rendition of “Hallelujah” and in a beautiful chorus, the crowd began to sing along as they held their candles. And honestly, I have never heard anything like that before. I had never participated, never seen the community of my city. They sang every note, ringing the names of the victims to the bells. And it made me even more stilled within the experience. 

We had burned incense sticks as well, traditional to Asian culture. Soon after, the AAPI caucus leaders began to speak. Many Asian American women such as Leezah Sun, Shela Yu, and so many more delivered powerful songs in their native languages, along with poems and speeches. A reverend delivered a powerful, rhythmic speech as he denounced the hatred that festers within racism and xenophobia. I recall he said, “Together, we can fight it. Together, we can fight white supremacy and the hatred that stems from the system. Let’s combat it with action, confrontation, and most of all, love.” 
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At the closing end of the ceremony, many attendees left flowers, ink paintings, and candles by a shrine in honor of the victims. And even after Neon and I left the event to grab dinner, their words still reverberated in my head. It was like a distant echo in the background of my thoughts. I had the chance to speak with some of the Caucus members I had exchanged with, and it made me realize what the reverend said was true, “Don’t be afraid to reach out and reach up. People will appreciate it.”

Wrapping this up, I’d just like to say a few words about what I’ve learned so far. I grieve the recent events. I mourn them. I empathize. Lots of people I know do too. But, I can also say I am inspired. I am inspired by the volunteers, by the caucus leaders, and by the community. When tragedy strikes, the community didn’t back down. They didn’t just let it pass by. I’ve also noticed that I am inspired by my fellow Culture Talk members. Many of the branch leaders wanted to do more during the election, so they didn’t sit and complain at home. They worked hours at the polls, they did phone banking. Many of them wrote, produced, and planned content during a pandemic when the world seemed bleak while also balancing full time jobs and school work. Not alone, but together- that’s why community is more powerful than just a one-man show. 

That’s the moral of the story. There is no mentality to “Another day, another tragedy.” or “There’s nothing we can do about it”. One person told me that last year when I was at my lowest. But that burns within me. We can. When you have the means and you have your allies, you are able and you can do more. You just have to take the first leap. Sometimes there is uncertainty and there is fear, but there is also unity. That’s what we, as Culture Talk, are doing now. Doing more and doing better. I hope that if you’re reading this, I can get through to you. That, this is wrong and we need to try to combat it. No person should be discriminated against for how they’re born or where they're from. We’re just people, and we have our own stories to tell. 

Ultimately, my resolution and my responsibility as a member of the AAPI community is to do better. I will continue to form connections, reach out, and create more things that others can use to learn, grow, and create on their own. As Culture Talk, we will continue to aid the global community in cultural education and engagement.

 Please keep an eye out for more  resources about the AAPI community and how to participate on our website/ social media. 

Thank you for reading. I appreciate it more than you know.

Sincerely, Milla Nguyen

Milla Nguyen (she/her) is a sophomore at Arizona State University where she is majoring in Fashion and Film and Media Production. She looks forward to discovering what the world has to offer in terms of global fashion studies, trends, and entertainment news. She's excited to discuss topics of cultural diversity, women's rights, and societal limitations related to impoverished communities. In her spare time, she loves to curate photoshoots, paint, and listen to music. Her advice is to love those around you and see the world in a kaleidoscopic lense - by taking the scenic route.











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